It has been emphasized over and over that rape of women is not a matter of "sex" but of violent control of women. And women have strived to counter the past attitude of "disgrace" turned towards a woman raped. But what women fail to realize and acknowledge is there is "double disgrace" for a boy who is raped: not only the slur of "asking for it", but that a boy must be homoerotically attractive -- something not blamed upon women.