I've been sustained, these many decades, by two blessings:

• Lateral: Many, many times I have discovered that I have INDEPENDENTLY arrived EQUIVALENTLY at mathematics or even physics which other thinkers have presented favorably to "the world". This tells me that I have not been wandering in the wilderness.
• Leapfrogging: After hours or days or years of banging my head against some math or physics I did not really understand -- and rejected mere memorization! -- I've understood. And then -- mirabile dictu! -- I realized that I then KNEW MORE THAN MY TEACHER. For, CHARLOTTE SHOWED ME CONNECTIONS MY TEACHER DID NOT REALIZE. So I LEAPFROGGED MY TEACHER, showing me that I am not yet "out of it".