1: Lights dim as screens flash blurred images. Then drawing of a lecturer like Browne on the stage of a large packed theatre, while Chorus begins, "My Bonnie". Screens and voice-over: RESPONDING TO HIS NATIONAL REPUTATION, BROWNE EMBARKED ON TOUR OF FAR WEST IN OCTOBER, 1863. TO A PACKED HOUSE IN SAN FRANCISCO (ENTHUSIASTICALLY REVIEWED BY BRET HARTE), BROWNE LECTURED ON "BABES IN THE WOODS", A PARADE OF DROLLERIES WITH NO RELATION TO TITLE. GREAT CROWDS ATTENDED ENGAGEMENTS ALONG WEST COAST.

2: Drawing of miners drinking; Chorus, "My Darling Clementine". Screens and voice-over: WHILE LECTURING IN VIRGINIA CITY, NV, BROWNE MET SAM CLEMENS ("MARK TWAIN"), EDITOR OF LOCAL NEWSPAPER. A VISIT MARKED BY HILARITY AND HORSEPLAY, SUCH AS WALKING ACROSS ROOFS OF MINERS' SHACKS IN DEAD OF NIGHT. IN PUBLIC FAREWELL, BROWNE REMARKED, "I NEVER, GENTLEMEN, WAS IN A CITY WHERE I WAS TREATED SO WELL NOR, I WILL ADD, SO OFTEN."

3: Drawing of Salt Lake City in midcentury. Chorus, "Mormon Hymn". Screens and voice-over: FELLED BY TYPHPOID, BROWNE WAS TAKEN TO SALT LAKE CITY, WHERE BRIGHAM YOUNG (LEADER OF THE MORMONS) PLACED HIM UNDER THE CARE OF HIS PERSONAL PHYSICIAN AND FREQUENTLY VISITED HIM.

4: Drawing of crowd around New York City theater. Chorus, "Dead March from 'Saul'". Screens and voice-over: TRIUMPHAL RETURN TO NEW YORK CITY, APRIL, 1864. HIS BROTHER, CYRUS, DIED OF TUBERCULOSIS. IN OCTOBER, 1864, BROWNE INAUGURATED HIS MOST FAMOUS LECTURE, "ARTEMUS WARD AMONG THE MORMONS", WITH IRRELEVANT PIANO ACCOMPANIMENT (SUCH AS "DEAD MARCH" FROM HANDEL'S SAUL AND THE WELSH AIR, "POOR MARY ANNE") AND ABSURDLY DRAWN "PANORAMYS". DURING 1864-5 SEASON, BROWNE TRAVELLED AS FAR AS MONTREAL, CINCINNATI, AND NEW ORLEANS.

5: Drawing from frontspiece of Browne's new book. Chorus, "Poor May Anne". Screens and voice-over: IN SEPTEMBER, 1865, BROWNE PUBLISHED HIS SECOND BOOK, ARTEMUS WARD: HIS TRAVELS. BROWNE ASKED SAM CLEMENS TO CONTRIBUTE A STORY TO HIS BOOK, BUT IT ARRIVED LATE. HOWEVER, BY BROWNE'S INFLUENCE, CLEMEN'S STORY WAS PUBLISHED IN ATLANTIC MONTHLY: "JIM SMILEY'S JUMPING FROG", LATER REWORKED AS "THE CELEBRATED JUMPING FROG OF CALAVERAS COUNTY". A CRITIC LATER REMARKED OF THIS, "AS A GENIUS, [CLEMENS] HAD BEEN DREAMING UNTIL ATEMUS WARD CAME TO WASHOE AND AROUSED HIM TO HIS POSSIBILITIES."

6: Drawing of angry crowd. Chorus, "Tenting Tonight". Screens and voice-over: ALSO BEFRIENDED, OR INFLUENCED, BY BROWNE WERE COMIC WRITERS DAVID ROSS LOCKE (KNOWN AS "PETROLEUM V. NASBY"), CHARLES HENRY SMITH ("BILL ARP"), HENRY WHEELER SHAW ("JOSH BILLINGS"), AND THE NOVELIST WILLIAM DEAN HOWELLS. AFTER THE WAR, BROWNE BRAVED PUBLIC DISAPPROVAL TO GIVE A BENEFIT PERFORMANCE FOR THE WIFE OF THE IMPRISONED PRESIDENT OF THE CONFEDERACY, JEFFERSON DAVIS.

7: Drawing of harbor of London. Chorus, "A Capital Ship for an Ocean Trip". Screens and voice-over: IN SPRING OF 1866, BROWNE ANNOUNCED INVITATION TO LECTURE IN ENGLAND AND WRITE SERIES FOR CELEBRATED ENGLISH HUMOR MAGAZINE, PUNCH. ARRIVING IN SUMMER, BROWNE WAS ACCLAIMED "LION" OF SEASON AND ELECTED TO TWO CELEBRATED WRITING CLUBS. HIS AUTUMNAL CONTRIBUTIONS TO PUNCH WERE LATER COLLECTED AS ARTEMUS WARD IN LONDON, AND INCLUDED ACCOUNT OF VISITING TOWER OF LONDON AND TOMB OF SHAKESPEARE (WHICH HE PRONOUNCED "A SUCCESS").

8: Drawing of Egyptian Hall, Piccadilly, London. Chorus, "I Dreamed I Dwelled in Marble Halls". Screens and voice-over: ON NOV. 13, 1866, IN EGYPTIAN HALL, PICCADILLY, LONDON, BROWNE BEGAN HIS PANORAMA LECTURE, "ARTEMUS WARD AMONG THE MORMONS". UNLIKE HIS AMERICAN PLATFORM STYLE, BROWNE APPEARED HERE IN EVENING DRESS AND SPOKE WITHOUT DIALECT. BUT HE SOMETIMES USED ONE OF HIS FAVORITE TRICKS: MOUNT THE PLATFORM. STAND SILENTLY, TWIDDLING HIS THUMBS, UNTIL AUDIENCE BECAME RESTIVE, THEN REMARK HALTINGLY: "LADIES -- AND -- GENTLEMEN -- WHEN -- YOU -- HAVE -- FINISHED -- THIS -- UNSEEMLY -- INTERRUPTION, I GUESS I'LL BEGIN MY DISCOURSE."

9: Movie on screens show Artemus , in evening dress, mounting platform before audience, which displays puzzlement, surprise, restiveness, while voice-over comments: THE ENGLISH PLAYRIGHT, T. H. ROBERTSON, LATER WROTE OF THIS LECTURE SERIES: "OF ALL MEN IN THE WORLD, MY FRIEND CHARLES BROWNE WAS THE LEAST LIKE A SHOWMAN OF ANY MAN I EVER ENCOUNTERED. I CAN REMEMBER THE ODD HALF-DISAPPOINTED LOOK OF SOME OF THE VISITORS TO THE EGYPTIAN HALL WHEN 'ARTEMUS' STEPPED UPON THE PLATFORM. AT FIRST THEY THOUGHT THAT HE WAS A GENTLEMAN WHO APPEARED TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE ABSENCE OF THE SHOWMAN. THEY HAD PICTURED TO THEMSELVES A COARSE OLD MAN, WITH A DAMP EYE AND A PUCKERED MOUTH, ONE EYE ELEVATED AN INCH ABOVE THE OTHER TO EXPRESS SHREWDNESS AND KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD -- A MAN CLAD IN VELVETEEN AND BRAID, WITH A HEAVY WATCH-CHAIN, LARGE RINGS, AND HORNY HANDS, THE TOUTER TO A WAX-WORK SHOW, WITH HOARSE VOICE, AND EVER FAMILIAR MANNER. THE SLIM GENTLEMAN IN EVENING DRESS, POLISHED MANNERS, GENTLE VOICE, WITH A TONE OF GOOD BREEDING THAT HOVERED BETWEEN DEFERENCE AND JOCOSITY; THE OWNER OF THOSE THIN -- THOSE MUCH TOO THIN -- WHITE HANDS COULD NOT BE THE MAN WHO SPELT JOKE WITH A "g". FOLKS WHO CAME TO LAUGH BEGAN TO FEAR THAT THEY SHOULD REMAIN TO BE INSTRUCTED, UNTIL THE GENTLEMANLY DISAPPOINTER BEGAN TO SPEAK, THEN THEY RECOVERED THEIR REAL 'ARTEMUS' BETSY JANE, WAX-FIGGERS, AND ALL."

[At the end of the movie, the audience is roaring with laughter, as "Artemus" stands patiently on the platform, nervously fumbling a lady's riding crop, an embarassed look on his face.]